How To Annoy People Essay -- Process Essays

How To Annoy People This paper will attempt to explore how to annoy people in many different situations these categories are as follows: how to annoy people in restaurants, chat rooms, while driving, and in the grocery store. Also explored are annoying your roommate, your neighbors, public bathroom stall mates, your teacher or professor, and the police. The following are guaranteed ways to annoy at your favorite restaurant: Decline to be seated and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register. Pretend you do not understand what your server is saying no matter how much he/she yells or how slowly they say it. Ask your server for an extra seat and place setting for your imaginary friend. Wander around the restaurant asking other diners for their parsley. Slurp your soup. Eat out with your friends and forget your wallet. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon or pay for your dinner with pennies. Getting a rise out of people by annoying the heck out of them was never this easy before chat rooms. First, ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE or only type in lowercase, and dont use any punctuation either. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations and see if people play along to avoid looking ignorant, if they ask what it means be demeaning and rude rather than giving them an explanation. TalkLikeThisInChatRooms. CapitalizeTheBeginningOfEveryWordAndNeverUseSpaces. YouHaveNoIdeaHowAnnoyingThisCanGet. On the other hand, you could simply capitalize letters that ShouLDn't bE capitalized. Go into random chat rooms and say "Turkey," then leave and every 5 minutes, on the dot, send someone an instant message saying "Turkey" as well. Choose someone you do not like and annoy him/her until he/she leaves the chat room. Use the "find member" command and follow this person all over whatever online service you use. This may get you permanently kicked out of all the chat rooms, so make it worth it. Finally, e-mail some random person in a chat room and ask them why they keep harassing you. If your passengers are annoying you, get relief by annoying the other drivers around you. When driving at a slower speed, stay in the left-most lane and when there is a lot of traffic behind you, always drive 8-20 MPH slower than the speed limit. These will definitely get you the finger by everyone who finally gets past you, so use sparingly if weak hearted. When dri... ...assignments, or write your psychology paper on possible genetic anomalies that might cause a person to prefer anchovies. Finally, pwetend you have a speech impediment and awways type w's whenevew you weawwy want to type r's or l's. The last category in our exploration on how to annoy people is the police. We will call this category "How To Be a 3 Time Loser on Your First Dealing With The Police." If you really want to annoy the wrong person, simply use one of these lines the next time you get pulled over: "Aren't you the guy from The Village People?" or "Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on COPS?" You could also try "I pay your salary," "I thought you had to be in relatively good shape to be a police officer," "You're not going to check the trunk, are you," or "So, are you on the take, or what?" I do not recommend the next line unless you would like to experience police brutality, but here it is anyway: "Wow, you look like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's night stand." I end this paper with my favorite how to annoy a police officer line which is "I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me."